LoveEyes

we're over so let out credits roll like criminals we lied like children we cried like old fashioned beliefs we died I'm left pondering where do I go from here I look to the east but do not see the dawn to the west is a dull grey sunset dusk is all I know I stroll through the dark alleys dying a slow and painful death your voice echos everywhere I go I see your face the reflection of every vacant storefront but what do I do to feel alive I put my hand into an open flame it burns this dream I'm stuck in not a dream at all

when you walked away you forgot to tell me the truth you forgot to tell me how your heart doesn't ache you forgot to tell me I'd be okay you forgot to teach me how to forget you

on my bad days, i open notebooks like bibles and hold pens like lifelines.    i keep opening the book of my memories  just to see if it still leaves a bruise. tonight, i am covered in the bruises of your hand    tonight, your ghost is in my bed. i can't sleep there, so again-             again i find myself miles from home wishing on stars i can't see    and spitting memories into the ocean like watermelon seeds.  i sit on my longboard like driftwood and send my shivers into texts like letters i never should have mailed. on my bad days, i wear cuts like ropeburn, like i just don't know when to let go.   i get lost inside the sadnes

sometimes i turn off the greasy yellow lights and run the water lava hot. the quiet porcelain is an untouched coffin familiar as the look in your eyes. i can hear my heart beat in my ears and i stare at the ceiling until it darkens and blurs at the edges. my body is heavy as lead i cannot remember the weight of movement. sometimes the closest i can get is the suicide between each breath and the apology unspoken on the inhale. my skin is a ladder i keep climbing, i can see through the rungs to the fat cells that weigh down my bones. sometimes, my hand becomes his when it creeps uninvited over the landscape of my body and across the staircas

they say sad girls change their hair color and forgive their monsters. i change my morals and become one.